Wife Stabs Husband With Squirrel After Dry Beer Run
A South Carolina woman was arrested after allegedly stabbing her husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel after he returned home late Christmas Eve.
NORTH CHARLESTON, SC – In what can only be described as holiday stress turned low-budget wildlife attack documentary, a South Carolina woman allegedly transformed a festive ceramic squirrel into an instrument of domestic justice after her common-law husband returned home empty-handed from a late-night beer run.
Helen Ann Williams, 44, of North Charleston, was arrested and held on a $10,000 cash bond on a felony charge of domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature. According to police, her 41-year-old husband headed out late on Christmas Eve in search of cold beverages, only to discover that stores were already closed for the holiday. He returned home with devastating news and zero beer. This information, authorities say, did not go over well.
As the man attempted to console himself with a humble sandwich, Williams reportedly grabbed a ceramic squirrel—presumably one of those cheerful lawn ornaments meant for peaceful garden vibes—and delivered a blow to the head followed by multiple slashes and a stab to the chest. The victim fled to a neighbor's house to call 911.
When officers arrived shortly after midnight (now Christmas Day), they found him covered in blood with cuts to his shoulder, face, and a significant gash on his chest.
Williams initially told police her husband had simply fallen, a story that reportedly lost credibility when they noticed she had blood on her hands and clothes. The husband was treated at a hospital for non-life-threatening injuries.
In a season typically filled with peace on Earth and goodwill toward men, this incident serves as a cautionary tale: never underestimate the importance of shopping ahead, a stocked beer fridge during the holidays, and perhaps a careful reconsideration of home décor choices.
The squirrel’s condition remains unknown, though unofficial reports suggest it also cracked under pressure.
Based on the original report by M. Alex Johnson for NBC News, as published on local3news.com.
Helen Ann Williams, 44, of North Charleston, was arrested and held on a $10,000 cash bond on a felony charge of domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature. According to police, her 41-year-old husband headed out late on Christmas Eve in search of cold beverages, only to discover that stores were already closed for the holiday. He returned home with devastating news and zero beer. This information, authorities say, did not go over well.
As the man attempted to console himself with a humble sandwich, Williams reportedly grabbed a ceramic squirrel—presumably one of those cheerful lawn ornaments meant for peaceful garden vibes—and delivered a blow to the head followed by multiple slashes and a stab to the chest. The victim fled to a neighbor's house to call 911.
When officers arrived shortly after midnight (now Christmas Day), they found him covered in blood with cuts to his shoulder, face, and a significant gash on his chest.
Williams initially told police her husband had simply fallen, a story that reportedly lost credibility when they noticed she had blood on her hands and clothes. The husband was treated at a hospital for non-life-threatening injuries.
In a season typically filled with peace on Earth and goodwill toward men, this incident serves as a cautionary tale: never underestimate the importance of shopping ahead, a stocked beer fridge during the holidays, and perhaps a careful reconsideration of home décor choices.
The squirrel’s condition remains unknown, though unofficial reports suggest it also cracked under pressure.
Based on the original report by M. Alex Johnson for NBC News, as published on local3news.com.
