News
Showing 31 articles in News
Man Injured on Bison Ride at Yellowstone Theme Park
A grandfather just became the star of Yellowstone's newest "Bison Ride," launching an impressive eight feet into the air after a run-in with a 2,00...
Jul 14, 2026 44
Early-Onset Bird Watching: A Growing Epidemic
Epidemiologists have observed a concerning rise in cases of “early-onset bird watching,” where harmless curiosity escalates into binocular dependen...
Jul 02, 2026 91
Amazon Tests “Porch Cannon” for Lawn-Conscious Shipping
Amazon has announced a new delivery system called BLAST (Ballistic Logistics Advanced Shipment Targeting), designed to reduce driver interaction wi...
Jun 24, 2026 156
Time to Reel It In: Cop Pulls Gun Over Reheated Seafood
A disagreement over a coworker’s fish lunch escalated into an unauthorized use of force at a Myrtle Beach police station.
Jun 19, 2026 158
Japan Raids Big Ice Cream: The Six Cent Syndicate
Japan’s ice cream corporations are facing an antitrust investigation over allegations of price fixing. The scandal has sparked polite apologies abo...
Jun 18, 2026 107
"Yoga Pants Inspector" Still at Large After Citing Multiple Shoppers
Shoppers were confused and amused after mall security began issuing fake “yoga pants” citations. After multiple complaints were filed, police respo...
Jun 16, 2026 143
Air Canada “Really Sorry,” Now Using Real Pilots
For 17 years, an Air Canada captain flew more than 900 flights and thousands of passengers with everything required for the job — except a license.
Jun 10, 2026 203
Trashed Panda: Raccoon Outwits Police For 6 Years
A suspect with paws tops the most wanted list in Virginia after eluding authorities for years.
Jun 09, 2026 116
Councilman Arrested for “Petting Beaver," Faces Restraining Order
Desperate for flood relief, UK towns are going to extreme lengths for Norwegian beavers, including inter-town trafficking.
Jun 07, 2026 178
Bill Gates Invests in Wings That Never Met a Chicken
The future of meat may not require a pasture. It will, however, require several engineers.
Jun 05, 2026 186
Greta Thunberg Hails Fukushima’s Radioactive Bears as “Eco-Heroes”
In Fukushima, mutant bears maul workers at a steel plant and enforce carbon neutrality with teeth.
Jun 03, 2026 159
Serial Seat-Sniffer Strikes Again: The Bloodhound of Burbank
A dedicated serial butt-sniffer from California was arrested again for crouching behind women in stores and taking enthusiastic whiffs — proving so...
Jun 02, 2026 177
McDonald's Launches McMRE with Famine Fries: “We Already Had The Shelf Life”
Facing declining sales, McDonald's has embraced the prepper market with the launch of the McMRE, a line of survival meals built around the legendar...
May 31, 2026 180
KFC Squid Games 3D-Printed Meal: Because Actual Food Was Getting Complicated
KFC and McDonald's have unveiled "high-tech nutrition" meals, featuring 3D-printed food based collectibles.
May 30, 2026 170
Wife Stabs Husband With Squirrel After Dry Beer Run
A South Carolina woman was arrested after allegedly stabbing her husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel after he returned home late Christmas Eve.
May 19, 2026 197
The Mangione Effect Hits NYC: Billionaires Bubble Up
New York’s ultra-wealthy are taking personal security to a new extreme with “billionaire bubbles”—clear, lightweight, bulletproof enclosures that a...
May 08, 2026 401
Soap Costs Skyrocket: Prison Authorities Baffled
Prisons across the country are struggling to get inmates to pick up soap, even when offered incentives. The stubborn refusal has led to soaring soa...
May 07, 2026 251
Man Saves $20 on Mower Repair, Accidentally Pays in Fingers
A man trying to save $20 by sharpening his lawnmower blade loses two fingers after missing some details in a YouTube video. A cautionary tale for D...
May 01, 2026 233
Cone of Shame Finds New Application in Men's Health, Doctors Report
Apr 25, 2026 187
Man's Understanding of 'Everything Bagel' Grows Considerably During HR Meeting
An Oregon man was fired after failing a drug test and initially blamed the result on a poppy seed bagel he ate for breakfast. When told he tested p...
Apr 23, 2026 194
Area Man Who Shot Own Foot Now Trusts German Shepherd with Loaded Firearm
Sergeant Pepper outfitted in tactical gear and sidearm
Apr 23, 2026 191
Man Survives Rattlesnake Bite to Groin on Camping Trip—Finds Out Who Friends Are
An Arkansas man is bitten by a rattlesnake in a most unfortunate spot during a camping trip, only to discover that, when it counts, some friendship...
Apr 10, 2026 279
AI Servers Blamed for Regional Drought as Experimental Cooling Method Raises New Questions
Engineers have improved AI performance. The solution was high-quality bottled water.
Apr 06, 2026 183
Amazing! Mankind’s First Images From The Dark Side of The Moon
NASA Releases Historic Artemis II Photos — Humanity Responds: “Enhance?”
Apr 06, 2026 299
Is The Easter Bunny Real? Not According To Hershey
Hershey to Test Real Chocolate Bunnies by 2027. So What Are Your Kids Really Eating This Easter?
Apr 04, 2026 262
From Rides to Responsibilities: Uber Platinum Does It All
Uber Platinum - A Tier So Premium It Doesn’t Just Get You Somewhere… It Gets Things Done.
Apr 02, 2026 239
Kentucky Man and Horse Arrested for DUI
A Bowling Green Man Arrested for Horseback DUI -- Also Faces Charges for Contributing to the Delinquency of an Equine
Mar 29, 2026 675
Local Man Attempts Ancient Ritual Known as “Waiting”
Study Finds Vegetables Take Longer to Grow Than People Prefer
Mar 20, 2026 183
Drought Exposes Lost City and Reveals Opportunity for Capitalism
Lake Mead exposes profit potential.
Mar 14, 2026 244
Man Vows To Get His Life Together Immediately After One More Thing
Sources confirm a man will begin his highly productive new life shortly after finishing one last quick task.
Mar 13, 2026 183
Households Move Decorative Linens to Active Duty
With wallets thinning and prices rising, Americans quietly cross the final fiscal threshold: putting the monogrammed guest towels into circulation.
Mar 01, 2026 249