Man Survives Rattlesnake Bite to Groin on Camping Trip—Finds Out Who Friends Are
An Arkansas man is bitten by a rattlesnake in a most unfortunate spot during a camping trip, only to discover that, when it counts, some friendships really suck.
Ozark, AR — A camping trip gone awry has led one local man to a shocking revelation, some friends are willing to do anything to help you… unless it involves sucking poison out of your groin.
James “Jimmy” Harper, 32, was bitten by a rattlesnake while attempting to relieve himself in a secluded area of the Ozark National Forest. The snake, presumably less concerned with forest business and more interested in Jimmy's business, struck him right where it hurts.
"I was just trying to pee... Next thing I know, there was a snake attached" -- Jimmy Harper
"I was just trying to pee!" Harper said, still wincing at the memory. "Next thing I know, there's a sharp pain and when I looked down there was a snake attached to me." As Harper frantically staggered back to his group, his friends sprang into action. One called for help, another tried to find an emergency kit, and one heroically volunteered to “suck the poison out.”
But when the details of the situation became clear, the mood shifted.
“Yeah, I mean, I’d totally do it if it was his arm or leg… but the groin? That’s a hard no,” said Aaron, a lifelong friend of Harper’s who now admits his "morality" went straight into overdrive.
“Please, guys, someone, I’ll do anything! I’ll buy you all beer forever!”
Despite Harper’s desperate pleas , the consensus was unanimous: nobody was touching that area.
“I had to do it, but... just couldn't, no one wants to save a guy's life with that much personal space involved,” said Kyle, who added that he tried to comfort his friend by reminding him that "the good news was it wasn’t a cobra. A cobra bite would have been much worse."
"no one wants to save a guy's life with that much personal space involved,”-- Kyle
Ultimately, paramedics arrived just in time, and Harper was airlifted to safety. Despite the snake’s venom not reaching critical levels, he couldn’t help but feel the sting of betrayal—though, fortunately, it wasn’t from a venomous fang. “If I ever get bit again, I'm not asking for help,” Harper quipped, “because at least I’ll be safe from embarrassment.”
His friends, however, remain divided on whether they’ll ever go camping again. “Next time, we're sticking to a cabin,” Aaron said. “Yeah… one with a bathroom.”
James “Jimmy” Harper, 32, was bitten by a rattlesnake while attempting to relieve himself in a secluded area of the Ozark National Forest. The snake, presumably less concerned with forest business and more interested in Jimmy's business, struck him right where it hurts.
"I was just trying to pee... Next thing I know, there was a snake attached" -- Jimmy Harper
"I was just trying to pee!" Harper said, still wincing at the memory. "Next thing I know, there's a sharp pain and when I looked down there was a snake attached to me." As Harper frantically staggered back to his group, his friends sprang into action. One called for help, another tried to find an emergency kit, and one heroically volunteered to “suck the poison out.”
But when the details of the situation became clear, the mood shifted.
“Yeah, I mean, I’d totally do it if it was his arm or leg… but the groin? That’s a hard no,” said Aaron, a lifelong friend of Harper’s who now admits his "morality" went straight into overdrive.
“Please, guys, someone, I’ll do anything! I’ll buy you all beer forever!”
Despite Harper’s desperate pleas , the consensus was unanimous: nobody was touching that area.
“I had to do it, but... just couldn't, no one wants to save a guy's life with that much personal space involved,” said Kyle, who added that he tried to comfort his friend by reminding him that "the good news was it wasn’t a cobra. A cobra bite would have been much worse."
"no one wants to save a guy's life with that much personal space involved,”-- Kyle
Ultimately, paramedics arrived just in time, and Harper was airlifted to safety. Despite the snake’s venom not reaching critical levels, he couldn’t help but feel the sting of betrayal—though, fortunately, it wasn’t from a venomous fang. “If I ever get bit again, I'm not asking for help,” Harper quipped, “because at least I’ll be safe from embarrassment.”
His friends, however, remain divided on whether they’ll ever go camping again. “Next time, we're sticking to a cabin,” Aaron said. “Yeah… one with a bathroom.”
