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LeBron James Exploring Purchase of Harlem Globtrotters, Plans to Keep Playing
Lebron has reportedly found the only basketball team where traveling is encouraged.
FIFA’s Emergency Sprinkler Plan Threatened by Players Worried About Their Hair
To beat the 106°F heat wave, FIFA is considering keeping the stadium grass sprinklers on during active tournament play. However, the radical plan faces a massive roadblock: star players are threateni…
LeBron’s Mid-Life Crisis: He Wants To See Other Teams
The rumors are true: After eight seasons together, a 2020 championship banner, and countless meaningful nights, LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers are officially splitting up.
CDC ALERT: Sophie Cunningham’s "Indiana Fever" is Totally Unstoppable
The CDC has declared a nationwide emergency as "Indiana Fever" spreads across America, with Sophie Cunningham's viral on-court swagger identified as the source of the highly contagious outbreak.
Sophie Cunningham’s Index Finger Nominated for WNBA Defensive Player of the Year
Following her viral, 22-second standoff against Phoenix, WNBA coaches are panic-drilling against the dominance of Sophie Cunningham’s point.
Uber’s New "Men Choosing Men" Feature Promises "Glorious Silence"
Uber today announced its new "Men Choosing Men" feature, giving male passengers the ability to request male drivers who understand that meaningful conversation is entirely optional.
Coors Light Scores Again With Tallerboy Game-Day Bundles
Coors Light’s wildly popular Tallerboy — the 18-inch can that holds three beers — was such a hit during the World Cup that fans started drinking more and missing key moments rushing to the bathroom. …
World Cup 2026: British Fans Spark U.S. Toothpaste Shortage
Toothpaste Supplies Dwindle as British World Cup Fans Overrun U.S. Dentists
Everybody Wins in Game 7
Nobody is saying championships are rigged. We're just saying an awful lot of people benefit when they go the distance.
McDonald's Launches McMRE with Famine Fries: “We Already Had The Shelf Life”
Facing declining sales, McDonald's has embraced the prepper market with the launch of the McMRE, a line of survival meals built around the legendary longevity of its burgers and fries.
Curlers Sweep Into Panic Over 'Enhanced Winter Olympics’ Threat
Some curlers are in full panic over the Enhanced Games coming to curling.
The Kentucky Derby 2026: Where Hats Outrace Horses
At the 2026 Kentucky Derby, spectators discovered the real competition wasn’t on the track—it was between the women vying for the largest, most elaborate hats. The growing “hat arms race” has organiz…
NFL Fans Await Unrealistic Optimism for Upcoming Season
Every draft pick is a future star until proven otherwise-and even then, we'll need to see more tape
The Masters Has a Breezy Little Secret...
What you didn't know about The Master's Tournament might not surprise you...
Packers Quietly Float Lambeau Naming Rights, Fans Respond With Highly Specific Demands
Tradition is Priceless. Unless...?
Nation Once Again Settles Into the Gentle, Unhurried Rhythm of Baseball Season
"It's not about catching everything, it's knowing it's there."
Sports Team Loses Game, Fans Blame Everything Except the Team
Local sports fans identify every possible cause for their team's loss except poor performance.
Pelosi's Picks: The Bracket That Doesn't Miss
Millions of brackets busted. One suspiciously intact. And somehow... it belongs to Nancy Pelosi
